Title: Days without end
Pairing/Characters: Chang Wufei/Trowa Barton
Some days, Wufei doesn’t want to be seen by people. He screams and swears, he throws himself at walls, and sobs. He attacks anyone foolish enough to get close to him. He breaks his fingernails bloody scratching at the bricks in his bedroom, and smashes a few more of his small collection of valuables.
On the bad days Trowa sits and waits. Stoic and silent the taller man watches as Wufei hurls himself around, a fit of rage and despair, until it is his time to pick up the pieces.
The Gundam pilots are damaged goods, and sometimes, sometimes it is better to let this happen then try to solve it. They are an army, and brothers-in-arms look out for each other. And if that means letting Wufei wreck their house twice a year, then Trowa can deal with that. Better than his bouts of amnesia, Quatre’s fits of catatonia, Heero’s still lurking deathwish, or Duo’s random drug binges. They all learnt to deal with the memories, the rivers of blood on their hands in some way.
Trowa sees Wufei’s dark eyes luminescent with tears, his hair fluttering wildly around him, and thinks that Wufei is beautiful in his grief. Every aborted movement is poetry to watch, and he stalks around their tiny apartment like an enraged tiger, grace and elegant so very visible in his madness. And Trowa knows that this is what Wufei needs, and he lets him be. Sometimes a solider just wants to destroy. It’s what they were trained to do, after all.
Wufei bows his head in defeat and lays down in the mess that he has made, curling up into a ball, trying to make himself disappear. Trowa approaches carefully, all too aware of Wufei’s laser-fast reflexes, and sits down on the ground beside him. Neither of them say anything, and Trowa lets the slightly uncomfortable silence drift over him. He amuses himself by trying to count every individual strand of Wufei’s raven locks. He loses track at around seven thousand when Wufei speaks, his voice rusty with tears.
“I...I am sorry, Trowa. Sorry for this. For my…weakness.” His voice is muffled by having his face buried in the carpet, but Trowa can hear the shame hidden in there. He knows what it means for Wufei to apologise like that, to admit his failure to bottle up the anger, the pain he kept hidden so well inside of himself.
“Wufei. I will never, never blame you for what you are, for how you deal with things. We all have it, inside of us, and I will never think less of you for letting it out. I would be scared if you didn’t.” Trowa pitches his voice lower than normal, soothing. He doesn’t want to trigger another fit, or a crying jag. He lies down next to Wufei, pulling the smaller man into his arms. Hesitantly, Wufei reciprocates, until they are pressed against each other, and unthinkingly, Trowa leans down, kisses the corner of Wufei’s mouth tenderly. Wufei begins to weep, and Trowa sighs a little, but continues to hold him.
There will be better days soon.